Tag: heart

Love

Love is not fragile

It has a strength that transcends time and distance

Love is not meek

It is ferocious

Love is not reserved for romance

It is Self, Family, Friends and Earth

Love is powerful

It can change the course of history

Love is not biased

It can see the true soul, regardless of colour, sex religion and economic standing

Love is not meant to be hidden

It is meant to be shared, cultivated and grown

Love is all there is 

perception reflection

What do you hear when my lips part?

A passionate sigh

An orgasm not yet moaned

A banshee wail

A soothing word

A hard cut

Lies you want to hear

Truth you don’t

What do you see when you look in my eyes?

Passion and fire

Monster damaged shadows

Gentle loved reflection of who you are

Cold calculation

Uncried tears, waiting

Fool

Ancient knowledge

What is your instinct when you touch me?

Treasured

Owned

Used

Thrown away

Imprisioned

Gift

Freedom

Choices we make

We choose how we react to any situation. That is our control.

Sometimes it is hard not to take what the universe throws at us very personally. Especially when the monsters in your head can twist much to that bent.

I am not proud of my reactions this morning.

I snarked at some well intended things and was not very understanding to another, and perhaps unkind/cold to another friend who is in distress.

I am tired, I am dealing with the things that hurt, my monsters are loud.

But my things/needs to not supersede anyone else’s. Yet I want to scream ‘what about me? I have shit to, incase it matters!!’

In these moments I feel lost, in my heart I want to offer gratitude, love and compassion- despite the deficit I feel. I used to be able to choose that almost instantly- despite the monsters.

This morning I did not / could not make that choice. My monsters whisper that no one makes that choice for me, so why bother for anyone else…… I am overwhelmed, overthinking and overtired. These are not meant as excuses, just a framework for how my monsters can take over.

I know I will owe apologies but I believe I am entitled to some understanding.

For now, until this current storm passes, and my tears dry, my choice will now be to be quiet ( the adage, ‘if you can’t say anything nice….) to try to do some good somewhere today, and hope that those I was not the best to this morning understand and choose to kindness, compassion and understanding in my direction.

Always choose kindness when you can. Try to remember it’s rarely personal, trust that you do count, you do matter and love yourself first, even when the monsters seem to be the ones in the drivers seat.

✌🏻

Filled Void

The greatest art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain. – Lord Byron

The heart, soul and brain all work differently. 
The brain makes a decision
The heart may fight it/ jump on board
The soul may cry/ sing

To make the decision to try to truly be present in ones life is hard. Not jumping to the future, not visiting with ghosts of the past. The here, now.

Can be lonely, with out others to be here, now- as they all seem to be other places. But do we base our existence off the recognition of others? Why? ( is it just me? It is, says the monster of invisibility)

It’s hard to sustain ( but what will happen if we don’t over think the what if’s, cries the monsters of uncertainties)

It’s a strange freedom to try for ( but you do not deserve that freedom, it is for others more worthy, cry the monsters of the past as they try to chain you down)

What is the present sensation? Calm? Connected? Cold? Pain? Love? Distrust? Amazement? Distain? Joy?
Why is this sensation present? Feel it…. let it move through…. learn what you can…… let go.
So easy to say. So hard to do.

Between two worlds life hovers, like a star, twixt night and morn, upon the horizons verge. – Byron

Echos

Ripping the scar off to see if a wound has healed
Taking the same road to see if it goes some where new
Speaking the same words to see if you hear something different
Tasting the same bitterness to see if it has sweetened
Letting the already banished ghosts in, serves no purpose other than to create hell. 
This is not where we are, this is not where we are going. We deserve to let the scar lie, travel our new road, speak the loving truth, taste the sweetness that we create, together, forward, no ghostly companions along for the ride. We have been to hell, got the T-shirt, moved on, time to burn the bridge back. 

Motivate me please

This morning, while I drink my coffee I am trying to understand motivation. What motivates people to do what they do. Not the lifestyle stuff, eating well, exercise etc, but the motivation to be kind, mindful, or cruel, deceitful, helpful, or harmful.
Is there pleasure derived from being mean? causing harm? creating oppression? disconnection?

I know in nature animals will lash out when they feel threatened or are in pain. Aside from humans (and the occasional cat), very few species cruelly toy with each other for sport.

I think back over my life and all the experiences I have had. For better or worse, it seems to keep me more determined to be kind, thoughtful, engaged to truly see someone, to lend a hand, keep my heart open and to trust. I look at what I can be met with here, often it is joy, connection, creativity, challenge, growth, support. (my village❤️❤️)
But lately, my mission if you will, has lead me to the hard truths that my open heart, excitement, passion for connection, kindness, compassion will be misread, twisted, ignored, or turned back upon me to wound. This creates feelings of stupidity, sadness, and the wounded feel of trust being destroyed. It is here I get the urge, the urge to ‘be like everyone else’……

So what motivates me? To be seen. Not in a glorious, celebrity way, exalted, and worshipped. But to be seen for my heart, the love I offer to all, to be understood, my wounds, scars, how that has shaped me, recognized that I am far from perfect, but that I, like I believe most, just want to connect.

I am motivated by seeing the smile on someones face when they achieve something big for themselves.

I am motivated by seeing hope light someones eyes, where it was dim before.

I am motivated by the direct connection of a hug or holding someones hand, feeling the energy move between us. That direct link.

I am motivated by the relief on someone’s face when they realize that they are seen, accepted.

I am motivated to see the way I want to be seen, as a whole, flawed, worthy of compassion, love and understanding, creative being, waiting to connect.

I am motivated by love.

See Me

Strip away artifice
Pull apart false ego
Honesty in flaws
Honesty in success
Honesty in pain 
Honesty in joy 
Trust the truth will connect
Trust that deep abiding love will prevail 
Trust the forgiveness of damaged souls 
Take off the mask 
Wipe your eyes clear 
Beauty is not in perfection 
Perfection is in the flawed