I am a Pagan. I do not represent any one other than myself. I am a polytheist. There are many Gods/Goddess I recognize and worship. I believe that they show us signs and messages. I believe we have Guides, Totems, and Anscestors that help us along if we listen and are mindful. I believe in Prayer and Meditation. Not in order to have your problems taken from you and solved, but to help you access the strength and wisdom to navigate through life. I believe that you have the right to celebrate and worship who you want, and that we must be respectful to each other about these matters.
I believe am a spiritual being. Therefore part of my spiritual practice to help manage my mental health also involves self care on many other facets including, physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. This can be hard to manage when the anxiety monsters come, these are the first things they shut down. I did not understand the importance of this as much in my younger years as I have since turning 40. My spiritual practice is the deepest it has ever been in this life. I have much to learn. I’m also trying to figure out the timing to address all facets of health, that can be a full time job in and of itself. A huge priority has been placed on my health, physical and mental.
I believe we pass through here more than once.
I believe we are connected on different levels with different people at different times. Sometimes we can’t explain it, we just feel it. There are ways of trying to explore those connections by different forms of channelling and divination.
I have used my own form of connection with the Ether to try to understand some relationships I have in this incarnation.
How one comes to those conclusions and the methods used may not fit into your particular belief framework
That is perfectly ok. We can just agree, that at one time or another we all have felt connected to another person or animal on a different, deeper level.
I believe we tend to be with the same souls much of the time. We don’t come back continually in the same combinations (you are always the husband or the wife), I believe we inhabit all manner of humans as we pass through here on repeated returns. So in one life, mother, daughter, possibly in another, brother, sister, or maybe co-workers.
It may not be a good connection either, it’s easy to romanticize the thought of moving through lifetimes with someone. Sometimes the relationship that has the strongest past life/ karmic connections will have some of the biggest challenges to face. It is amazing to me how much we can change and grow, if we address past life issues not yet finished. It is amazing how this can effect family karma (or curses if you will), to change for the better.
I believe there is a balance between some events that need to happen for our souls growth and to deepen our connection the the Goddess/Gods, and random stuff making us a player in someone else’s growth.
I believe that I am here to be of service.
To be able to help people. I am blessed enough to have been gifted a few talents that seem to make a difference for people. People who want to be seen, for who they are and who the aspire to be. People who have wounds that they just want acknowledged, who just want to not be judged. Who want find a way to ease their pain. I am not claiming that I can cure anything. Far from it. But I seem to be able to help people open up to their vulnerability and express their emotion about their pain, and that seems to have an enormous effect on how they cope with their challenges. I am honoured to support.
There can be a dark side to this.
When I start to believe that I am the one helping, doing. When I forget I am a facilitator, not the ‘owner’. That is when the anxiety begins. I feed off the external acceptance. I let that dictate my self worth. It becomes a hunger that is not satiated for long. How much I am needed, how much gratitude I am shown, all become my mission. I let matter rule over spirit. The monsters get restless and they begin their run.
I have mental illness, due to experiences in my life I have chemical changes, and altered pathways that can control how I react in perceived stressful situations. But there are things that I can do to slow, decrease and mitigate an impending anxiety attack/episode.
When the monsters start to take over, it is here I know I have lost my grounding, and I need some time to reflect before the anxiety gets worse. Often I see that I am eating more sugar than I should be, not exercising as much, not writing or meditating or sleeping very well. That I have overextended myself, taken on too much. Triggers can pop up with out warning. Sometimes I fail to address it. Sometimes I don’t have time to catch it. I end up in it, ride it out and dissect it afterward. I am learning to set up more effective boundaries, the value of ‘no’ and separation of what is mine vs what is not.
One of the first things I try to come back to is grounding myself and calling on the Ether, my Guides, my Gods, to help me find the way back.
To breathe, to be grateful for what comes my way.
To make peace and not condemn myself for the anxiety getting a momentary step up on me.
To step outside myself and see if I can give a hand up, an ear, company in the dark, bright connection in the light to someone who needs it.
To listen to my intuition, not my fear.
I spend time in Nature, meditation, time at my altar, reflecting and writing.
To me, not only is it important to understand my current life, monsters and reactions so I can be a better human. I also believe understanding my connection to the Goddess/Gods and the Universal Conscious Energy that binds us all will aid in healing, understanding my purpose and better control over my mental illness.
Witch Know Thyself-
Standing Still at the Speed of Light 