Flowers Blooming, for Lily

So bittersweet, the moment was. 

You called for me. 

That sweet face, my little baby girl peering out at me with glistening eyes. Mama, I need you. 

Earlier, your eyes glinted with exasperation when I offered to help you with your hair. You’re old enough, you don’t need me. You can do it all yourself. 

A while later, you caught my eye, I saw your face. You mouthed the words, to come with you.  So vulnerable you looked. 

I hold your cherished face in my hands. Wiped your shocked and surprised tears. Reassuring tones from my heart to yours. Yes, my sweet, a little piece of childhood is done, but it will be ok. 

I feel the little piece of ice pierce my heart. 

My baby, my baby. My heart. 

Now before me,  no longer the child playing with dolls. 

But the beginnings of a young lady. We can not go back from here. 

You still reach for me. My baby. You are crossing a threshold, we acknowledge together. You squeeze my hand. And thank me, for helping you feel safe, loved and supported. I am grateful that this is how you feel entering this transitional moment. That this is the space we have created together. 

I wanted to cry, to lament, please bring back my baby, what if there were things I did not teach, what if I missed important things. How is it over so quick?! How can I guide her when I’m not ready?!

Yet….. My heart swells with pride, this sweet, funny, talented, kind, young lady was growing into her promise as a human. Gracefully, inquisitively, loved. 

But my babe you will always be, in the eyes of the woman you will become. 

❤️